First the COVID-19 pandemic was thought to be the worst virus experience in the last 100 years. Since then vaccines were introduced, a booster now available to help lessen the impacts and potential death should we contract the virus. What should be a scientific and medical issue has mutated as fierce as the virus to a political stance of the vaccinated and non vaccinated. Even worst than the division on the subject that exist there is a new variant of coronavirus called Omicron which is believed to be far deadly than COVID-19. This virus is on this rise as we brace for another global surge of potential deaths as people travel and gather for Christmas. The holidays is one of the most difficult times of the year where people experience immense sorrow with the start of the holidays and escalating into Christmas and the New Year. Families are grieving and society is moving forward toasting the holidays and welcoming the new year. Although many enjoy celebrating during this time of the year, unintentionally these traditional celebratory events tend to force those in mourning into feelings of great loneliness and potential bouts with depression. The characteristics of Christmas in all its glory meant to spread holiday cheer is quite the opposite for someone who has suffered the loss of a love one. In Chapter 11 (The Message) of my book whether you’ve loss a child, mother, father, siblings, husband, wife, partner, friend, or a family pet, there is a tomorrow, and your loved one wants more than anything for you to go on and live your life to the fullest. Below are 5 grief tips to help you survive this not so jolly time in your life.
1. Grief is normal. So it’s perfectly okay to feel what you feel as well as when you feel it. Acknowledging your loss and that you miss that person. It’s all apart of the grieving process and yes it hurts, but continue to trust the process. If you reach a point where you need help whether it be family, friend, Pastor, or a professional counselor do reach out and ask for help.
2. Invitation to holiday parties is off the chart. If you feel up to attending great. If not, no explanation needed. Decline and be honest about it. Feeling the need to please others only puts additional unnecessary stress on you and you are already going through enough.
3. Don’t try to control all the happy people around you. It’s a great idea to take advantage of utilizing carry out, curbside pickup, or even Door Dash to avoid the merry crowds. This includes decorating for the holidays. If you don’t feel up to it. Don’t feel obligated. If there are young children in the home, remember they are in need of some form of normalcy and any inclination that their world as they once knew it isn’t totally a lost. If you’re not feeling up to it, you may have to delegate decorating to a friend or family member to help.
4. If there are other family members in the home, try and do things together. For an example cook a meal as a group delegating parts of the meal to each person. This not only puts a meal on the table quicker, I’m sure a few comical moments will arise from the experience and laughter is always good medicine for a heavy heart.
5. Find a way to honor your love one. This may help you feel close to them as well as this can help you focus on happier times.
Bottom line, every person and situation is different. Grief hurts at different levels. There’s no set time when it will start or when it will reach completion. Grief can go dormant and show up again at the most unexpected times. If that happens remember it’s okay and very normal. My experiences are just that my experiences. What worked for me may not work exactly that way for you or at all. My best advice would be to pray to God for his strength, understanding, and help to get you through and back to living, loving, and laughing. Your love one would not want you to be any other way and neither does God. I can’t wait to see your smiling face again. Wishing you God’s blessings on your journey.
More recommendations for ways to resume a happy, self-fulfilling life and get your copy of When The Bough Breaks or my children’s book titled, Mari And The Majestic Butterfly please visit www.ConnieDStandifer.com