I'm a Daddy's Girl to the tenth power! Although he didn't have the patience or stomach to teach me to drive, he surely taught me everything else that shaped me to be the smart, beautiful, and talented Girl Boss you see today. And of course that's a pretty bold statement, but that's what he instilled in his girls that we were beautiful, gifted, and could do and be anything we set our minds to do or be. Waiting on someone else to validate you was never an option. Your good enough period!!Our mother was his Queen and we were his Princesses. So no one could ever imagine what loosing Daddy or my Mother must have been like for me. Many have even said, they didn't understand until have experienced the unimaginable. Well, the month of April itself is a difficult month for me because I loss my dad just two years ago on April 4 and loss my mother on April 20 in the same month just seven years prior. My book, When The Bough Breaks talks about the grief experience with the passing our my dear mother and how I was able to get through the unimaginable. It has been a journey, but I'm thankful to God that he got me through it and I've grown bigger, better, and certainly stronger. I turned my pain into purpose and got a second wind of life in the process. I owe it all to God because without him none of it would have been possible. Many ask is there a follow on book coming, and my response is there's a strong possibility there will be, but that's enough about me. Loosing a parent is unimaginable because as far back as you can remember have been a constant never wavering presence in your life. Although we know no one will live forever, but as we grow up and move on with our adult lives starting families of own, we still need, and expect to have our parents for many years to come. The mere loss of their presence, love, support, and guidance can leave one to feel lost and unable to move forward or heal at all because you've never been in this place of not having your parent(s) there. Your mere since of identity is shaken causing possible feelings of anger, shock, numbness, confusion, disbelief, hopelessness, depression, and/or even thoughts of suicide. If your relationship with your parent(s) was estrange and the opportunity never presented itself to mend your relationship and they pass, it may cause feelings of guilt as well. No matter the feelings experienced, the struggle is real to resume a life of laughing, living, and loving. The good news is you can and will with the below five simple tips to moving past your grief.
1) First and foremost validate your feelings. They are your feelings and its perfectly okay to feel what you are feeling.
2) Fully experience it and care for yourself in the process by trying to get proper rest, eating a balance meal, getting some form of thirty minute or more of vigorous exercise. Try getting that exercise outdoors. It's something about taken in a little sun rays that just make you feel better.
3) Share fond memories with others and/or find ways to honor their memory. I planted flowers on yesterday in honor of my dad. Toiling the soil with my hands helped ease the stress and sad thoughts over my dads passing. Flowers remind us that they cannot survive without a little rain and our lives are like that as well.
4) Allow family and friends in and not spend time alone. Of course they may not know what to say or do to make you feel better, but just the mere fact that they are there with you in silence speaks volumes to your over all support.
5) If grieve is too much to bear, its okay to accept professional help from counselor, therapist, religious leader, and/or joining a support group.
Philippians 4:6-7 - English Standard Version (ESV) says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." The unimaginable grief in the loss of a loved one does not have to be infinite. The struggle is real, but you can and will recover. The sun will rise again. Wishing you God's blessings on your journey.