Sometimes the bough breaking experience is when you find yourself in the new and unexpected role of caregiver for an aging parent. The emotional affects this has on your mind and even bigger tug on your heart strings is unimaginable and to the point where the ability to see the blessing in that situation is nearly impossible. Not only can you not see the blessing, but some days more than others, you don’t know where to start to look. I can go further in saying, you probably feel like your life is over, your perfect world isn’t so perfect anymore, and the world you once knew, and love no longer exist now that you have this new role of caregiver. Although I was not the caregiver of my mother, and therefore my situation is somewhat different, the feeling I experience of her passing, and shared with my readers in my book Chapter 1, My Perfect World, and Chapter 2, The Earth’s Shift may be similar to what you are feeling right now in your role of caregiver, but truth be told I eventually learned, and so will you that your world was never perfect, and nothing ever is. We are not perfect either, and so life isn’t either. How we move about our personal journeys in this thing call life will be full of mistakes, miss steps, re-dos. We may even be in a constant loop of restart in attempt to get it right. Especially if your connection with the creator has a shortage. So, now that we’ve established you are indeed human and not a super hero although taking on the responsibility of caring for an aging parent is very heroic, but still you are far from perfect, we can now address the fact that you can’t see the blessing in your situation due to four key points acting as blinders to your blessing.
Point 1: Go easy on yourself pain is stressful. The fact that you can’t see the blessing doesn’t mean you are ungrateful. What you are feeling is very normal. Episodes of grief is not only when someone has passed, but grieving can occur with other life experiences as well. Coming to acceptance in your new role as caregiver, is a part of the grieving process. You are unable to see the blessing because your view is clouded by the onset of stress and feelings of being overwhelmed concerning your new responsibilities as caregiver. Life as we see it in this case is completely out of order. Your parents have raised you from birth to adulthood. Yet the roles have been reversed and now you caring for your parent. It’s extremely difficult to watch someone that you love slowly loose who you’ve always known them to be all your life and it’s even more difficult coming to terms with you being the adult who now needs someone to care for you. Some days are much easier than others, but equally difficult on either side.
Point 2: How we view and move through life is very unrealistic. Yes, it may be a true fact that you are successful, have acquired all this awesome stuff, but even with all your greatness and wealth, you control nothing about your life, where you are in it, or what you have This lack of an ability to control the situation makes you feel powerless. Truth be told it feels like kryptonite was just dropped directly in your lap leaving you feeling drained emotional, physically, and spiritually. This desire to control the situation and make everything alright got you feeling not alright. In all your infinite wisdom, you probably never took into consideration that God may have a different plan. God, has total control! So, why worry about something that has already been established that you have no control over it. Too much worrying will become detrimental to your health. Give it back to God, and let his will be done. I promise you may not understand it now, but trust me you eventually will. Chapter 4, In Bondage is my testimony to you that his will be done and you will have clarity on it.
Point 3: Your vision to see blessings become less cloudy the more you pray. It’s vital to having the strength to go through the hard times. Prayer dissolve the power of your kryptonite. Growing your faith by staying in prayer will strengthen your trust in God that he will work your situation out in his time and in his will. Be consistent with prayer in good times as well as bad times.
Point 4: We can’t see the blessing in our day-to-day life because we are standing too close. Your heart is engulfed with pain to the point you can’t see your hand in front of you, or God’s hand extended to you. Clear the fog and repeat points 1, 2, and 3 and the sun will rise and shine again. God is not a God of confusion. Trust the process, and know that He is God, and he would never put you in a situation to leave you powerless with no clear direction, or instructions for peace.
If you still can’t see the blessing, this is my last and final attempt. The blessing in this situation is you, God could not have chosen a more caring person for the job. He knew you would give your all to ensure your love one’s well-being. He knew you would care to the point of no rest, and he knew you would be empathic to the point of tears. Another blessing and I’m of the opinion the most important of any is you have God right in the midst waiting to give you everything you need to care for your love one. He’s so awesome, HE has already equipped just the right folks with all the necessary talents to help you and your love one. Your cup still running over with blessings because you still have your love one. You are a blessing to your love one, and they are a blessing to you. I like many others would give the world for another opportunity to love on our love ones one more time. God got us all in hands, and what better place to be than with God. Please know, the greatest power is the ability to ask for help and the strongest alley to have in your corner with an impeccable record of victories is my God. Don’t take my word for it…read scriptures Deuteronomy 33:27 and Psalm 34:17. Then take your hands off of it and give it to God and let him begin to clear away your fog. The journey may be long full of bumps in the road, but HE will guide and reveal the blessings awaiting just around life’s bind. Although there will be hills to climb and valleys to walk through, God is always there walking with you. Stay on course you are still blessed! Wishing you God’s blessing on your journey.